Before Communion

O Master, Lord Jesus Christ our God, the Fountain of life and of immortality, the Author of all creation, both visible and invisible, the Son coeternal with the Father and equally without beginning, as is the Father which hath no beginning, who through thy great goodness hast, in these latter days, endued flesh, and hast suffered crucifixion and burial for us ungrateful and evil-natured men, and hast renewed with thy blood our nature which was become corrupt through sin: Do thou accept, O King immortal, the repentance of me, a sinner; incline thine ear unto me, and give heed unto my words: for I have sinned, O Lord, I have sinned against heaven and before thee, and am not worthy to look upon the loftiness of thy glory. I have affronted thy goodness, in that I have transgressed thy commandments, and have not obeyed thy behests. But thou, O Lord, inasmuch as thou art not vengeful, but long-suffering and of great mercy, hast not delivered me over unto destruction with my transgressions, for that thou didst, at every moment, await my return. For, O thou who lovest mankind, thou hast said, by the mouth of thy prophet: I desire not the death of the sinner, but that he should turn again and live. Thou dost not desire, O Master, to destroy the work of thy hands, neither desirest thou the destruction of the human race, but willest that all men should be saved, and should come to the knowledge of the truth. Wherefore I, also, albeit I am unworthy of heaven and of earth and of this transitory life, in that I have made myself all sin, and have become a slave to sensual things, and have defiled thine image; yet, inasmuch as I am thy creature and the work of thy hands, I despair not of my salvation, accursed though I be, and I draw near with confident hope to thine illimitable compassion. Accept me also, O Lord who lovest mankind, as thou didst accept the sinning woman, the thief, the publican, the prodigal Son; take thou my heavy burden of sin, O thou who hast borne the sins of the world, who healest human infirmities, who invitest to thyself, and givest rest unto, those who labour and are heavy-laden: who didst come to call not the righteous but sinners to repentance. Purify me from all uncleanness, both bodily and spiritual, and teach me to fulfil holiness in thy fear; that having received a portion of thy Holy Things with the testimony of my pure conscience, I may be united unto thy holy Body and Blood, and may possess thee, dwelling within me and abiding with the Father and thy Holy Spirit. Yea, O Lord Jesus Christ my God, let the communion of thine All-pure and Life-giving Mysteries be not unto me for condemnation, and let me not be infirm in body and soul because I have partaken thereof unworthily. But grant that, even unto my last breath, I may partake uncondemned of thy Holy Things, unto communion with the Holy Spirit, unto a viaticum for life eternal, unto an acceptable defence at thy dread Judgment Seat. And let me, together with all thine elect, be a partaker of the incorruptible good things which thou hast prepared, O Lord, for those who love thee; in whom, also, thou art glorified forever. Amen.

I know, O Lord my God, that I am unworthy and am not meet that thou shouldest enter beneath the roof of the temple of my soul, because it is all empty and dead; and there is in me no worthy place wherein thou mayest lay thy head. But inasmuch as thou from thy loftiness didst humble thyself for our sake, so likewise do thou now humble thyself unto my humility: and as it seemed good unto thee to lie in the cavern and in the manger of dumb beasts, so also now graciously vouchsafe to lie in the manger of my dumb soul, and to enter into my defiled body. As thou didst not disdain to enter into the house of Simon the leper, and there to sit at meat with sinners, so also graciously vouchsafe to enter into the house of my humble soul, which is leprous and sinful. As thou didst not reject the woman, a harlot and a sinner like unto me, who came and touched thee, so also show thou mercy upon me, a sinner, who now come unto thee and touch thee. As thou didst feel no loathing for the polluted lips of the woman which kissed thee, so also loathe thou not my even more defiled and polluted lips and unclean tongue. But may the fiery coal of thine all-pure Body and of thy precious Blood be unto the sanctification, enlightenment and health of my humble soul and body, unto the lightening of the burden of my many sins, unto preservation from every operation of the Devil, unto the expulsion and interdiction of my evil and wicked manner of life, unto the mortification of passions, unto instruction in thy commandments, unto the acquiring of thy divine grace, unto the inheritance of thy kingdom. For I come unto thee, O Christ-God, not with disdain, but trusting in thine unspeakable goodness, and in order that through long absenting of myself from communion with thee I be not seized by the invisible wolf. Wherefore I pray thee, in that thou alone art holy, O Master: Sanctify thou my soul and body, my mind and heart, my belly and my reins, and renew thou me altogether. Establish thy fear in my members, and make thy sanctification to be inalienable from me. Be thou my helper and defender, guiding my life in peace, enabling me to stand at thy right hand with thy Saints: through the prayers and supplications of thy Mother; of thy bodiless servitors, the all-pure heavenly hosts; and of all the saints who, in all the ages, have been well-pleasing unto thee. Amen.

Like as I were now standing before thy dread and upright Judgment Seat, O Christ-God, receiving sentence and rendering an accounting of the sins I have committed, so also now, ere that day of my condemnation be come, standing before thee at thy holy Altar and before thy terrible and holy angels, convicted by mine own conscience, I offer as a sacrifice unto thee my evil and iniquitous deeds, declaring and condemning them. Look upon my humility, O Lord, and pardon all my sins. Behold, mine iniquities have exceeded the number of the hairs upon my head. For what evil is there that I have not done? What sin is there that I have not committed? What evil thing is there that I have not meditated in my soul? I am guilty of fornication and of adultery, of pride, arrogance, condemnation of others, censure, idle conversation, unworthy laughter, drunkenness, gluttony, hatred, envy, cupidity, avarice, usury, self-love, ambition, rapacity; of untruthfulness, unjust acquisition, jealousy, calumny, and of impiety. I have polluted, corrupted and rendered lewd all my senses and members, in all things fulfilling the will of the Devil. I know, O Lord, that mine iniquities are gone over my head; but thy bounties are immeasurable, thy benignant goodness is unutterable, and there is no sin which can overcome thy love of mankind. Wherefore, O King most marvellous, O Lord benign, reveal thy mercies also upon me, a sinner; show forth the power of thy clemency; manifest the might of thine ineffable tenderness of heart, and accept me, a sinner, who now have recourse unto thee. Accept me as thou didst accept the prodigal son, as thou didst accept the thief and the woman who was a sinner. Accept me, who have beyond measure sinned against thee in word, in deed, in unlawful desires and in foolish thoughts. As thou didst receive those who came unto thee at the eleventh hour, and had done nothing worthy, so also receive thou me, a sinner; for I have sinned greatly, I have defiled myself, I have offended thy Holy Spirit, and have grieved thy love both in deed, and in word, and in thought, both by day and by night, both secretly and openly, both voluntarily and involuntarily. I know, O Lord, that thou wilt set my sins before me as they were committed by me, and wilt demand of me an accounting of that wherein I have unpardonably transgressed. But O Lord, Lord! Convict me not at thy just Judgment, neither condemn me in thine anger, and chastise me not with thy wrath; Have mercy upon me, O Lord, for I am not only helpless, but I am also the work of thy hands. Thou, O Lord, hast confirmed thy fear upon me, yet I have done evil in thy sight. Against thee only have I sinned; but I entreat thee: Enter thou not into judgment with thy servant: for if thou, Lord, wilt regard iniquity, Lord, who shall stand? I am an abyss of sin, and unworthy to look up and behold the heights of heaven because of my many sins, which are without number. For in me there is no lack of every sort of misdoing, neither of guile, nor of satanic wiliness, of presumption, of sinful thoughts, and of many other passions. With what sins have not I defiled myself! Unto what evil habits have not I been in bondage! I have committed every sin, I have filled my soul with every sort of uncleanness, and have become worthless for thee, my God, and for men. Who shall reëstablish me, who have fallen into such evil and countless transgressions? O Lord, my God, on thee do I set my trust! If it be possible for me to hope for salvation, if the multitude of my iniquities are vanquished by thy love for mankind, — then be thou unto me a Saviour: according to thy bounties and thy mercies, loose, remit unto me, forgive all things wherein I have sinned against thee, seeing that my soul is filled with many sins and there is no hope of salvation in me. Have mercy upon me, O God, according to thy great mercy; requite me not according to my deeds; judge me not according to my acts; but turn thou me again; be thou my defender; deliver thou my soul from mine increasing iniquities and from my frightful imaginations. Save me for thy mercy's sake, that where sin was multiplied there also may thy grace abound. And I will laud and glorify thee forever, all the days of my life; for thou art the God of the penitent and the Saviour of those who have sinned; and unto thee do we ascribe glory, together with thy Father who hath no beginning, and thine all-holy, and good, and life-giving Spirit, now, and ever, and unto ages of ages. Amen.

From lips defiled, from heart iniquitous, from tongue impure, from soul polluted, receive thou my prayer, O my Christ, and despise not my words, imaginations and presumption. Vouchsafe that I may speak boldly, O my Christ, that which I desire. Teach me, moreover, that which I ought to do and to say. I have sinned above the sinning woman who, having learned where the Lord was, and having bought ointment, came fearlessly to anoint thy feet, my God, my Master and my Christ. As thou didst not repulse her, when she came from the impulse of her heart, so also despise thou not me, O Word, and grant that I, also, may clasp thy feet and kiss them and fearlessly anoint them with floods of tears, as with precious ointment. Wash me and purify me with my tears, O Word; remit my transgressions and grant me pardon. Thou knowest the multitude of my evil-doings; thou knowest also my scars; thou seest my wickedness. But thou knowest also my faith, and beholdest my earnest desire, and hearest my sighing. Not a single tear-drop, nor even a single portion of a drop, is hidden from thee, O my God, my Maker, my Deliverer. Thine eyes behold also that which I have not yet done: in thy book is written also that which, as yet, is not performed. Thou seest my humility, thou seest my infirmities and all my sins. Remit them, O God of all men, that with a pure heart, with trembling mind and contrite soul I may partake of thine undefiled and all-holy Mysteries, wherewith is quickened and made a participant of the divine every man who eateth and drinketh thereof with a pure heart. Thou hast said, O my Lord: Every one who eateth my flesh and drinketh my blood abideth in me, and I in him. True is every word of my Lord and God. Partaking of the divine Mysteries which make men like unto God, I am no longer alone, but abide O, my Christ, with thee, the all-effulgent Light which illumineth, the world. And I shall not be left without thee, the Life-giver, my Breath, my life, my joy, the salvation of the world. Wherefore I draw near unto thee, as thou seest, with tears and a contrite soul, and implore thee that thou wilt vouchsafe unto me to receive remission of my transgressions, and to partake, uncondemned, of thy spotless and life-giving Mysteries. Abide with me, the greatly-accursed one, as thou hast promised, that the Evil One may not craftily tempt me, and having tempted, may not lead me astray from thy precepts which render god-like. And therefore I fall down before thee, and I cry fervently unto thee: As thou didst accept the prodigal son, as thou didst accept the sinning woman who came unto thee, so also receive thou me, who am a prodigal and vile, O Bountiful One! Having now recourse unto thee with a contrite soul, I know, O my Saviour, that no other man hath so sinned against thee as have I, no other man hath wrought such deeds as have I. But I know, also, that neither the magnitude of the transgression, nor the multitude of the sins can transcend the great long-suffering and unutterable love toward mankind of my God. According to thy mercy and condescension thou cleansest those who repent with their whole heart; thou cleansest and enlightenest them, and makest them participants of the light, and sharers of thy Divinity. And, albeit it is strange for angels and men to comprehend, thou ofttimes holdest converse with them as with thy true friends. All this doth render me bold, all this doth give me wings, O my Christ. And confidently setting my hope on thy rich mercy to usward, both with joy and trembling, I partake of fire, being myself but grass. And — O marvellous wonder! — I am not consumed but am sprinkled with dew, as was of old the bush which burned yet was not consumed. Now, with grateful thoughts, with grateful heart, with grateful members both of my soul and of my body, I bow in worship, I laud and glorify thee, O my God, who art blessed now and forevermore.

I stand before the doors of thy temple, yet refrain not from wicked thoughts. But O Christ-God, who didst justify the publican, and didst show mercy upon the woman of Cana, and didst open the doors of Paradise to the thief, — open thou unto me also thy loving-kindness, and accept thou me, who am come and who touch thee, as thou didst accept also the woman who was a sinner, and the woman who had an issue of blood. One of them, through touching the hem of thy garment, received perfect healing; and the other, clasping thine all-pure feet, carried away the forgiveness of her sins. And let me not be consumed, accursed though I be, through daring to receive thy Body. But accept thou me, as thou didst accept them, and illumine my spiritual senses, consuming my sinful offences: through the prayers of Her who bore thee without seed, and of the heavenly Powers: For blessed art thou, unto ages of ages. Amen.

I believe, O Lord, and I confess, that thou art in very truth the Christ, the Son of the living God, who didst come into the world to save sinners, of whom I am chief. And I believe that this is, of a truth, thine all-pure Body, and that this is thine own precious Blood. Wherefore, I beseech thee, have mercy upon me, and forgive my transgressions, whether voluntary or involuntary; whether of word or of deed; whether committed with knowledge or in ignorance. And vouchsafe that I may partake without condemnation of thine all-pure Mysteries, unto the remission of my sins, and unto life eternal. Amen.